That’s pretty much what it was like. The view from the stands at J. Birney Crum looked uncannily like the Forest Moon of Endor. Minus the huge shield generator of course…and the Ewoks, although the pee-wee halftime match was a fair approximation. YUB NUB!

Maryland United? That’s nothing…try hangliding onto an AT-ST

The crowd was amazing–1,200 strong and vocal, especially the group of 10 year-old girls who put us to shame with their “LET’S GO STO-NERS!!” chant. Sure, there were the prototypical soccer-moms yelling “GO BLUE TEAM!”, but on the whole fans were knowledgeable and enthusiastic. (more…)

…and hopefully the Stoners have, because this Sunday May 18th, they kick off their inaugural season in NPSL against Maryland United. (more…)

Tag line from a ’60s movie B-movie about square cops busting dirty hippies? Not really, unless Rumor Kitty is the cop and the Stoners are the…nevermind.

“We can’t thank <name withheld> enough for supporting…Stoners…we are so excited…for…the opportunity to showcase all of our local homegrown …”

-butchered quote taken totally out of context (link) (more…)

The Stoners are going to announce another sponsor in addition to Stooges in Allentown. Who will it be? Draw the curtains, dim the lights, gather around the crystal ball, and let’s see what Madam Ruby sees…

(more…)

Stopped in at the Iron Lakes Sports Club “dome” last night to meet up with Bob Ehrlich, discuss the upcoming season and just chat. If you haven’t been there, this is a great facility located north of Allentown in the rolling hills of Lehigh County. I scoped out the situation and immediately spotted the refreshment stand. Hot dog: $1.50. CRUD, I only had a buck. Microwaved Superpretzel it was, then. A little yellow mustard rescued that situation. (more…)

Were you one of those popular kids in school? Then skip to the last paragraph. If not, read on… (more…)

Clearly intimidated by the sheer brilliance of our little blog, the Stoners unveiled their new and improved website a week or two back. (more…)

The new Stoners head coach was unveiled recently, as Todd Ervin has agreed to terms to coach the squad. Todd’s first official duty as head coach was conducting the first round of tryouts at Iron Lakes Sports Club. Sam “Bish” Bishop will act as an assistant. (more…)

It’s what you’ve been waiting for—too late for Xmas but just in time for Valentine’s Day. And what better way to say “I love you” than official Penn’s Army gear!

Our new logo, your key to the Penn’s Army Shop and greatness.

So forget the flowers and chocolates–that’s totally boring and predictable. This is cool. And you want to be cool, don’t you?

The first set of tryouts at Iron Lakes Sports Club for the first and reserve soccer teams will take place over the coming weekend: (more…)